Why tf am I starting this?
I listened to an episode of The Blindboy Podcast from a few weeks ago that felt like it was directed straight at me. Up until this point I have never felt like that. How can something resonate so much? Strange.
I listen to his podcast weekly and have heard him talk about mental health before. I have always learned something new because I found that they are generally relatable but this was so specific. If you wish to listen to the episode you can find it here.
He spoke about his own feelings of burnout as someone who is neurodivergent. He then goes on to give examples of what he thought burnout might be like for someone who is neuro-typical. Like a road to Damascus moment, I realise I am burnt out. Something has to change.
My old man hasn’t been well for a while now. I won’t go into it too much, there have been ups and downs with his health but nothing as severe as late in 2024. Thankfully is was not as bad as it could of been and he has people around him. I am very grateful to have family that can support both of us.
As someone who cares for him most, the time I had to care for him was not enough as I was working full time. My work arrangement had to change and went through a flexible working policy with work, again grateful that work could sort this so quickly and were so understanding. Since September, I have been working from home 3 out of the 5 days I would have been in the office with my sisters being with him the days I can’t. Wfh was a very specific example blindboy used.
When he came out of hospital I tried to get us both into a positive routine but as the weeks went by I found I had no routine at all. I waste most of my spare time on social media consuming nonsense, would not cook a proper meal often opting for takeaways instead and jobs around the house got ignored for so long. The procrastination was bad. This is what blindboy called a loss of executive function. Executive function being the skills to manage daily life.
To be fair, my current situation is not helped by my lifestyle. I rarely exercise anymore and I used to be very active. My diet as mentioned is awful. I have terrible habits such as smoking and rarely leave the house for anything other than work and the pub. Although I don’t drink often, when I do, I drink to excess. Full on binge drinking.
I used to have hobbies that I cannot find the focus for anymore. I used to make music and play guitar but I find that I have no spark and cannot find creative flow. I used to practice Muay Thai and even went to a camp in Thailand but I barely move my arse at all these days.
So why tf am I telling you this? What’s with the sob story mate? Before you ask. No! I’m not trying to get to judges houses. I’d be out in the first round with this brummie baritone.
I tell you this because there are plenty of men my age that have similar feelings. I’m sure of it. It could be the pressures of supporting their family making them feel isolated while they tell themselves they are not doing enough or it could be other carers that are not as lucky as me to have the support network I do. We have a hard time talking about it. I know. But here is an opportunity to show men they’re not the only ones.
Now don’t get me wrong, if I make some money from this blog that would be great but you won’t find any affiliate links for some bullshit you don’t need or don’t want. I have spoken about the blindboy podcast because it is something I enjoy and something I have genuinely gained from. I am not affiliated with him by any means.
If you do want some bull shit though follow this link here. It’s great!
Most of all however, I want this blog to be a creative outlet to help me stay on track. Consistency is such a difficult thing to obtain in anything so having this accountability will hopefully give me the drive to achieve it.
I want to find my passion for things again and to do this I need to have the right headspace. I want to build systems that will support me during difficult times. Like haing a healthy option when I cant be arsed to cook. By specific time and space dedicated to things that need to be done i will hopefully maintain a healthy outlook on life.
For this I will do research on these for a fact based approach but mostly I will build these systems through trial and error, sharing my experience. I will track the outcomes, pros and cons and the single most important thing, how they make me feel.
While I am doing lots of research and trying to learn as much as possible, I am no expert on mental health and would always encourage those that are experiencing the issues that I speak about to look for professional support.
Beyond the struggles 
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